Guinness Battered Fish and Chips

I once again forgot to take a separate pic of my meal from the one used for Instagram, HOWEVER, this time I have a legit reason: my three year old is insane.

If you haven’t noticed, we got a new dining table. Our last table was given to us by a friend nine years ago when he was switching apartments. We didn’t have a table so we gladly took his free one. When we bought our house seven years ago, “Buy a grown up table” was on our To Do List but then other things that were higher priority were added to the list. Things like “Plan bachelor/bachelorette parties” and “Get married” oh, and the real important one “Keep this new baby alive.” That last one hasn’t left the list for almost four years but I’m sure we’ll eventually get to cross it off.

The table started to fall apart about five years ago. The iron handles on the chairs lost their screws so they would pop out, the metal strips on the back of the chairs somehow got detached from the frame, and the straw that broke the camel’s back, the plastic caps on the bottom of the chairs disappeared and the chairs started scratching the floors. Apparently that was it for James. Having a table and chairs that look like they belong in an apartment off Riverside was okay but once they started scratching up the floors (and possibly causing more housework for him later on in case he needed to replace a plank) THAT WAS IT. I, obviously, didn’t complain, I’ve wanted a new set for a long time. So we got a new set and because I want this table to last longer than a year, I’ve decided we need to use placemats like the dignified, classy people we are.

The three year old disagreed.

I put the mats down and started bringing the plates to the table to serve ourselves and she walked in, took one look at the mats, and hollered “I DON’T LIKE THESE THINGS!” and flinged hers to the ground. What followed was an argument about how Mom doesn’t care what she wants, she’s using a place mat. But she doesn’t want to use a place mat. Mom.does.not.care. USE THE MAT. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO. That was followed by screaming and crying (she cried, not me, this kid can’t break me. And on the occasion that she does, I do it in the bathroom with a bottle of wine like a good mom) and the three year old being sent to her room to scream and cry to her heart’s content while we and the baby ate our meal. And James and I chugged our Guinness in silence. She eventually came out after twenty minutes and ate her meal ON THE DAMN PLACEMAT AND LOVED IT.

MOM FOR THE WIN!

Adding to my mom victory was this super, great meal! I got this recipe from a friend back home, whose parents are Irish. I wasn’t having much success finding recipes that didn’t include potatoes and cabbage as a main ingredient so I reached out to Caroline for help and boy, did she come through! This was just one of many recipes she sent me and I am so grateful for her help. I like cabbage and potatoes, I don’t like cabbage and potatoes for dinner all week.

The batter was really light and didn’t make me feel gross afterwards. The chips I figured out by myself, I mean, they’re fried potatoes, I don’t need a recipe for that. I used cod for the fish and it was the right amount of firm texture. Sometimes you get a soft fish and, yeah, that’s gross, but not cod. I’ve used cod before, for the Sister’s Stew, but this time it was prepared differently so I wondered how it’d hold up. It did great. Good for you, cod, you’re such a trooper!

Aside from Great War of the Placemat, this meal was extremely enjoyable. I almost felt like I was in a pub, eating my fish and chips and drinking a pint with my man and loving life. Then the local drunk, in the form of a moody three year old, tried to ruin it but we were like “Get out of the damn pub, you’re pissed” Not today, Satan, not today.

Recipe

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